But because relaxation is so key here, trying anal play in a place where you're more likely to feel calm and loose is helpful. And as logic follows, if those muscles and your anal sphincter are tight, inserting anything can be painful and difficult rather than pleasurable and easy. It depends on your levels of inhibition, your feelings about your partner, your feelings about your body. It should basically just feel like you might need to poop. Make sure your partner doesn't use the same butt finger in your vagina afterward. This is a case where shower or bathtub sex might actually be good. Usually, shower sex is bad and very hard to successfully pull off. The butt is full of nerves hence, the point of anal play and foreplay , but that doesn't necessarily mean it can tell whether something is going in or out.
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